I feel like i’m lost or maybe I’m just stuck

Between giving a damn and not giving a fuck

I can’t even think straight

I can’t even write

I’m tired of struggling and losing this fight

Tired of being unable to sleep at night

Tired of the stress that’s got me uptight

Tired of standing strong alone

No help in sight, gotta do it on my own

Should be used to it by now

It’s always been this way

I’m starting to see my dreams drift farther away

Drifting faster and higher, right out of my grasp

The one sure thing I was certain would last

But right now the dream seems as vague as my memories of us

My head is overloaded, about to mentally combust

Tired of disappointment and constantly being let down

Tired of waiting for days that never come around

Hearing I worry too much is about to make my ears bleed

I might as well be a mute because deaf ears hear my pleads

I’m tired, so tired, if only people would see

Maybe instead of taking, they’d ask for once what they can do for me

Is that too much to ask?

Am I being realistic?

I just want to be at peace and not have my feelings cast aside like they never existed.

What if I didn’t exist?

Would that get attention?

Or would it go unnoticed like everything else i’ve mentioned

No more pity parties

Didn’t wanna write this one

I’m just tired but can’t sleep and thought i’d let my mind run

Contrary to how it seems, it helps me to purge

So my pen hits the pad whenever I get the urge

to vent my frustration or ink written tears

Because my voice only seems to reach uncaring ears

Jamila Leilani

2/2011